i'm twenty years old & an avid dreamer.
love & gratitude are my keys to happiness.
i cry when i must, i laugh when i can.
i'm a bit of a clutz, so handle with care.
my favourite song will tell you more about me than my mouth ever will.
♥
“JACK: How can you sit there, calmly eating muffins when we are in this horrible trouble, I can't make out. You seem to me to be perfectly heartless.
ALGERNON: Well, I can't eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuffs. One should always eat muffins quite calmly. It is the only way to eat them.”
— The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde
It's another Sunday night, and this is another filler blog post to keep me from losing my mind. My first paper is early Wednesday morning, so I've got a solid two days to do some final revision before I break into full panic mode mere hours before the exam as I always do, regardless of whether or not I feel prepared. One of the things I don't have to worry about anymore, however, is my dissertation - I've actually already gotten my marks back just a few days ago - and, alhamdulillah, I'm happy to say that I'm satisfied with my results (: I can definitely breathe easier now, knowing that that part of my life is over and done with, and I can now put my focus purely on the two papers ahead of me. Even as I say that, I'm trying desperately not to think of all the things already lined up after my exams (multiple trips to the beach included!) which is especially hard for me since I've been looking forward to a lot of them for the longest time. As tempted as I am, I don't exactly want to list them all out here - I'm terrified I might jinx it all and everything will just fall through. Fingers crossed it will all go as planned, though! Just thinking about it now is putting the biggest, goofiest smile on my face. And there I go again, daydreaming about things to come instead of dealing with the 'right-here, right-now.' Oh, Fie. When will you ever learn?
A sigh of relief, a moment of silence, a flashback to everything that has happened in recent months. For the first time, I can breathe again - the shackles I've been trapped in for the last year have been released, even if only for the moment. I've less than a month before my first paper, and surprisingly I've already started revising for them. I don't usually start working this early, but I'm not going to take any risks this time around, especially with graduation looming right around the corner. As usual, I'm using my break to update this space - it seems to be the best outlet for me when I'm stressed - as well as going through photographs of gorgeous homes, outfits, and party ideas on Pinterest, of which I've become increasingly addicted to in recent weeks. I'm using 'redecorating' as an excuse to stay on the site for as long as I have - you know, there's always a need to change things up a bit - and the never-ending stream of incredible decor ideas just keep me enthralled. It looks as if I may not be the only one hooked on repinning ideas; I've spotted many friends (and family) pinning things onto their respective boards lately, and I have a feeling it'll only increase during the exam period. Looking at all my boards, I'm happy to say that they are all so... me. They reflect my taste & my style perfectly - from braided updos that I'm dying to try on myself once I grow my hair out, to what I imagine my next bedroom would look like, to my ultimate wedding reception inspiration ideas. It's hard not to love something that mirrors your personality so clearly.
Speaking of things I love, this video/song has been on my playlist constantly in the past month or so, and it's a song I've loved even as a kid. It's a throwback to the 90's (that just makes me sound so old, though I'm still very much a kid in a lot of ways) and I hope whoever is reading this enjoys it as much as I do (;
Anyway, I've been on here long enough for today. Back to work! I'll be back in a day or two :P
Once again I'm up in the middle of the night, as I have been for the past week or so. I'm taking a break from my Strategic Management assignment and contemplating whether or not I should move on to writing the introduction & literature review sections of my dissertation. I've got Boyce Avenue covers of my favourite 90's songs playing softly in the background to soothe my frazzled nerves, for I've been running on a mix of adrenaline, teh tarik and God knows what other caffeinated substance all day. I'm terrified that if I close my eyes whatever information I've retained will magically disappear into thin air, leaving me with nothing more but remnants of what I've been working on diligently in the last few days (nights, to be more precise, as I'm much more efficient once the sun goes down). It's odd that while I'm stressed beyond words, I find some sort of peace when I bury myself into the work - it's like my mind switches to autopilot - and I realise I daydream much more while I'm reading journal articles than when I'm actually free to do so, because that's usually when I start getting anxious & antsy. Funnily enough, even though I'm daydreaming, my hands seem to know exactly what they're doing, and before I know it, I've highlighted pages after pages of journals & have keyed in all the relevant information into my outline. I've yet to come to terms with the fact that both my assignment's deadlines are next Monday - I honestly wonder; where did all the months go? Wasn't I just compiling my resolutions into an entry just a few posts before? Didn't I just have my exams where I was in this exact position, writing in the middle of the night to release some form of pent-up exam stress? Wasn't it just a few posts ago I wrote about seeing WongFu Productions in the flesh? It's already April, and in a few days I'm going to rid myself of my final year project. How on earth I could let the time fly by as it did, I haven't the slightest clue. Now I'm just try to grapple every single second that I have so that I can stretch my days - I need all the time I can get to ensure this FYP is done properly. As in the previous post, I still do look (and feel) like a zombie, but I hope that changes once I hand over this monster of an assignment (plus the SM2 case study) next week. I already know what I'm gonna do that night (; Fingers crossed all goes well!
The past few weeks have been an absolute roller coaster for me - from pulling off a successful Psych Night, to running around campus for PsychSoc & being pelted by water balloons during the Nottingham Brings A Smile charity carnival, to trying to impress potential employers at my first career's fair, to making my dance debut at UNMC during the World Cultural Festival Night, to making my last presentation ever in my university life - which has left me curled up on the sofa nursing what was a horrible flu. Today, however, my condition seems better, as I got up this morning without groaning in pain & my voice has lost the hoarse (but somewhat sexy) edge to it. The weather seems to complement my mood as well - it's bright, sunshiney, and incredibly warm - a welcomed treat for someone who's been pent up in the bedroom all day (with the exception of numerous post-mortem meetings) because my body just completely gave way once it got the bug. Those who have seen me wandering around campus have likened me to a zombie; a ghastly pale face, dead eyes, & an unnaturally slumped posture are all but some of the more obvious signs of my lifelessness. I appreciate all the kind words from my friends who have tried to shoo me away from work so that I could get some rest/have something to eat; but as usual, there's so much to be done and only so little time to do them. Even now, I'm taking a break from my data entry so I can catch up on some YouTube videos and organise the alternate annual dinner for some friends and I this Friday night. Sometimes I don't even know why I constantly do this to myself - I pile on so many things on my small, fragile, china plate even when I know I may not have the capacity to do so - but I guess the sense of satisfaction & pride I get once things smooth over is quite the temptation. It's just in times like these when I'm stretched so thin I want to smack myself in the back of the head for being so naive. As I said before though, I don't regret anything, but I do wish I had learned to say no to certain things. People-pleasing isn't exactly something I want to live my life doing.
I digress. I'm so glad I made the decision to perform for the World Cultural Festival Night. I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't hit the stage as a dancer at least once before I graduated. The minute the audition e-mail was sent out I knew I had to do this before I leave UNMC - I just never knew I'd be a part of such an amazing collaboration (: For the performance, I was representing Indonesia (which so happens to be a part of my heritage) and worked with the Indonesian cultural society for what I thought was an excellent representation of the diversity in the country. So I began by performing the Balinese "Tari Panyembrama" (which is one of my favourite dances that I'd learned years before) while the students from INTI Nilai, who we invited for the night, performed the "Tari Saman" of Aceh which garnered a massive standing ovation from everyone in the Great Hall. Goodness, I was so proud! Both of the performances are now on YouTube, so you can check them out here:
Now, at least, I can graduate knowing I've done what I can to make my mark in UNMC (; I may just pop by whenever I'm free just to reminisce, and to also have lunch at the fish place in Broga (now that's one place I will definitely miss!). Okay, so writing this took longer than I thought and now I gotta rush through my data before lunch in an hour. Welp, it's back to SPSS for me!
“Nobody tells an actor, ‘you’re playing a strong-minded man.’ We assume that men are strong-minded. A strong-minded woman is a different animal.” — Meryl Streep
It's another rainy Tuesday evening, and I'm sitting outside the Great Hall watching Nadia, Pradheep & Anne play 'draw something' while we wait for MTQ to start. I'm currently sprawled out on the couch in the foyer, happily mooching off the internet with no worries of rehearsals and setting up, marking the end of what has been a hellish, but ultimately rewarding week, one that was wrapped up by us pulling off an incredible Psych Night in which we raised over a thousand ringgit for Open Hands Children's Shelter. I am so immensely proud of my team - we have had every obstacle you can ever imagine thrown at us while we painstakingly planned & executed the event - and I am so glad to have such an amazing support system throughout the entire process. If you had asked me barely a week ago if I thought Psych Night would have been the success that it was, I would have just laughed (nervously, might I add) and come up with some weak response about how I could only hope for the best. But, despite our troubles, we managed to pull through, not knowing that at the end of the day this little project of ours would turn out to be our bundle of pride and joy. It is, again, one of those times I'm glad I took it on, even though I knew I had an FYP to deal with, because the feeling of tremendous achievement is one that I would never trade for the world. On top of all that, I have to say, Psych Night will always hold a special place in my heart because it marks what could possibly be the last time Nadia, Raja and I perform on campus as Three. Although our first song was marred by an unfortunate "technical difficulty", I'm still very happy with our performance as a whole, and I think it could just be our best one yet. And after that day, I know that if singing isn't right for me, stalling could just be the way to go :P
Before I sign off, I want to wish all the acts who are competing at MTQ tonight good luck. May the best act win (;
In conjunction with International Women's Day, the UNMC Psychology Society will be having Psych Night 2012 on the 8th of March (next Thursday) to bring awareness to women's and children's abuse. Some of the highlights include a talk by Ivy Josiah from the Women's Aid Organisation & a performance by the children of Open Hands shelter, of which we are also raising funds for. There will also be a drama and band performance by the students (namely, yours truly ;P).
Please come and support our cause! Tickets are available at our booth at the SA Circle on Monday & Tuesday from 11am - 5pm, and at the door.
“I love that feeling. You know, the one you get when you take a deep breath and suddenly everything feels like it’s going to be okay. When you’re hopeless as can be, and life is going nowhere, there’s those moments we have every now and then where we just stop, and we get this feeling, that can’t be described, but you just.. you just feel like everything really is going to be okay. Like the world stopped spinning for a second, and everything was clear. I need more of those moments.”
So the boys of Wong Fu Productions came down to KL recently for a quick event, and of course, I just couldn't pass this opportunity up. I decided that day that instead of just blogging about what happened like I normally would, I'd whip out my camera to not only take pictures, but also to vlog for the first time. Here's the result of my newbie vlogging. Enjoy!
"This is your life. Do what you love, and do it often. If you don't like something, change it. If you don't like your job, quit. If you don't have enough time, stop watching tv. If you're looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing the things that you love. Stop over-analyzing; life is simple. All emotions are beautiful. When you eat, appreciate every last bite. Open your arms, heart and mind to new things and people; we are united in our differences. Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them. Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself. Some opportunities only come once, so seize them. Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them, so go out and start creating. Life is short. Live your dream, and share your passion."
Who knew being on holiday would mean having the busiest week of the year so far? After the exams I thought I could take advantage of the two-week CNY break to wind down & sleep in, but as the days went by, life just began to get progressively busier, and in a few days time I'm going back to campus for my final semester. Am I ready? Hardly. As much as I'd like to graduate ASAP, I'd also like for the break to stretch out just a little longer so that I can get in some me-time. I even have to rush typing this filler post because I have to head out again in an hour and I'm still not ready yet. The nap-worthy weather isn't exactly helping either. Anyway, just a few pictures I wanted to post up from the past month in no particular order:
Petronas Twin Towers on a particularly wonderful morning.
Ben's General Foods Store berry compote french toast for breakfast.
A misty Genting View Resort in the morning while everyone else was still asleep.
My comfy little study corner the night before the IBO paper.
Foster the People (:
Gladiator Nike kicks I found while I was at JPO.
Another cranberry cheesecake I made to order.
The view outside my window the morning of my final paper.
I will update soon once I find the time, I promise. Maybe when I'm bored in class? (;
